waterbouyLast week I wrote some concerns on 50 Shades of Grey. I don’t plan to give any more attention to 50 Shades directly as many people expressing concerns will only be advertising for 50 shades.

However, I want to talk about what love is. I work primarily with teenagers and they grow up hearing love is an emotion. Media screams to be beautiful, you must be sexually scandalous. Books and movies promote love as this amazing feeling often described as butterflies. Guys and girls most likely have had some kind of exposure to pornography or sexual explicit material.

So, what is love?

The very first thing the Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 13 is patience. I have not heard any media outlet explain that love is patience. I thought love was suppose to be my spouse to serve me? Yet, the Bible says to be patient. Rather, love is patient.

What is Patience?

waitingPatience is essentially remaining calm, especially in circumstances when it is difficult not to be annoyed. For example, when the fast food line is taking forever and you complain. That is not being patient.

How does this equal love? How can love include being patience?
Remember, love is not about you. I’ll say it again. Love is not about you.
 
Love is you laying down your desires to serve someone else.
Did Jesus love you? Was he patient with you? Did he lay down his desire to save you? When you rebelled against Him, was He not patience towards you?
When we look at love, we must remember to look at what Jesus has done.

 

Does this apply to me if I am Single

surferOf course. Do you have anyone in your life? Friends? Family? Associates? All of these are great opportunities you have to minister love.
Love is not just sexual. In order to love properly, you must realize love is not about you and you need to know how to love outside of sexual driven emotions.
Are you patience with your parents? Do you listen to your siblings?
This is a great way to apply this aspect of love to your family.

 

How do I apply this if I am Married

rocksandcloudsYou may wish to ask your spouse if they feel you are patient towards them. If you do this, listen to what they say without being defensive.

How can you improve in being patient with your spouse?
What are the things that she/he does that annoys you? Should they annoy you? Probably not. How can you show love towards her/him by being patient?
Or what about when you explain something to your spouse and you are confident you explained it clearly, but they just do not get it?  What do you do? This can be hard for me. Am I going to love my wife and explain it to her again in a loving and understanding way or will I shut down or express frustration?

 

Final Thoughts

Every aspect of love needs to be selfless. When I am impatient, I am putting my desires above my wife (or whoever I am being impatient with). When I am impatient, my focus is on me and what I want. It is not about my love for Jesus or me displaying the amazing love of Christ to my wife.

My desire is to love my wife selflessly. By serving her. Putting her desires ahead of my own. By being patient and calm with her at all times.

Justin is a husband, father, and a writer. He is passionate about equipping parents, glorifying Jesus, and helping the local church. Justin currently resides in Michigan with his wife and two daughters.

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